god bless push up bras
God clearly didn’t bless you if you need a push up bra.
who even came up with the idea that people have to shave their body hair and wear makeup and change their eyebrows and be a certain weight and wear certain clothes life is so dumb stop the world i want off
blinking is like clapping for your eyes
just remember that ur eyelids are always applauding u and cheering u on even if nobody else is
This is the most inspirational thing I’ve ever heard.
do you ever say something really clever and everyone just looks at you in amazement and you’re like
[VIOLENTLY THINKS OF HOW CUTE YOU ARE AND HOW NICE IT WOULD BE TO HOLD YOU ON A DAILY BASIS]
i actually have a fashion taste that is completly different from what i actually wear but i dont have enough confidence to wear what i really want to wear
i got this feeling on the summer day when you were gone
i crashed my car into the bridge and died in a fiery blaze because i’m a careless driver
what will happen when i’m 40 & still find 18 yr old guys really hot
you replace the term hot with the phrase ‘what a handsome young man’ and it’s suddenly socially acceptable
one time my girlfriend texted me this blurry picture of a thermometer and there was a second where i had a heart attack because i thought it was a pregnancy test but then i came to the realization that we’re lesbians